stuff your sorries elsewhere

learning to stop apologizing for existing, and start standing in my whole, messy, magical self

My therapist said I say, “I’m sorry” too much. I often apologize for my feelings, and this has been the case for as long as I can remember.

Writing that—and saying it aloud—makes me sad, because all I’m doing is existing and feeling my feelings. So why should I apologize for them? Shoe on the other foot, no one else is apologizing for theirs.

Do you ever feel like that?
After venting about some frustration, then immediately blurting out, “Sorry, that was a lot”?
I hate when I do this. I’m not really sorry for sharing—maybe just worried I’m trauma dumping.
Which, by the way, has been so normalized that we don’t always realize it’s not the same as being vulnerable.

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The Year I Stopped Shrinking Myself

To be honest (and super vulnerable), I’ve been working on validating my feelings for a long time. Since 2018, to be exact. That’s when I started my therapy journey and committed to becoming a better version of myself—for me and for the people I love.

There are moments when I still feel weird standing firmly in what I believe—like I’m doing too much, even when I’m just being honest. I read somewhere that when you’re not used to being confident, it can feel like arrogance.

My jaw dropped.
That’s exactly how I’ve felt—until recently.

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Becoming That Woman

It’s only now, in my mid-30s, that I’ve found a kind of quiet, profound confidence across all areas of my life. I finally feel like I’m becoming that woman—the one I used to look up to without realizing she was already inside me.

Being in this new skin—older, wiser, and simply more accepting of myself—feels different. Over the last couple of years, life transitions have forced me to rediscover who I am in the best ways:

✨ finding new hobbies
✨ being honest with myself
✨ accepting my shortcomings
✨ and simply… owning my shit.

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Your Life Is Not Over

I see all these TikToks of women terrified to turn 30. And look—I used to be one of them. Not because I thought my life would be over, but because I worried I hadn’t accomplished enough.

For any young woman reading this: your life is not over, babes.

My 30s have proven to be the best decade so far.
The girls on TikTok say your 30s are like your 20s, but with money, and I can confirm.

Aside from the financial freedom I’ve been striving toward, I feel liberated in so many ways—especially within myself. I don’t care as much as I used to. Especially when it comes to being cringe on the internet or giving too many fucks about how I’m perceived by complete strangers.

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The Real Confidence Lives Here

So if you’re reading this and still whispering “sorry” for just being human—stop.
You don’t owe anyone an apology for existing.

Feel it all. Own your shit. Be cringe if you must.

Imagine living in a world where everyone is pretending to be someone, when you can really exist and be yourself.

That’s where the real confidence lives.

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If this resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who needs a reminder that their softness isn’t a burden—and their feelings don’t require an apology.

CSH.